Call Me Transsexual!

If you know a trans person then you probably know not to use the word 'transsexual' because it is offensive. Well in this post I am going to argue against that, and in fact I believe some of us should be using that term more vocally. I may get some hate for that, but please just hear me out first.

At this current point in my life and in my transition, I personally more closely identify with the term 'transsexual' than I do 'transgender'. A transgender person is someone whose gender identity does not match the sex which they were assigned at birth. A trans person may or may not take steps to change their gender expression. This may include changing your clothing, hair length, mannerism, pronouns, physical appearance and sometimes medical interventions. A transgender person may pursue all of these changes or none of them. Whether they do or not does not change the fact that they are transgender. A transsexual person on the other hand is one that specifically pursues medical interventions to change their physical sex characteristics to more closely alight with that of the gender they identify with. This will include hormone replacement therapy, cosmetic procedures, as well as sexual reassignment surgery (now a days the term more widely accepted is gender confirming surgery). A transsexual person is transgender, but not all transgender people are transsexual.

My transition experience has specifically included these medical interventions. Of course I know that my sex can never truly match that of a person assigned female at birth, but it's as close as it's going to get. It came with a financial commitment (luckily not too big as I live in Canada), and a somewhat traumatic surgery. When I say traumatic, I do not mean mentally although for some it can be, I mean literally traumatic from a physical perspective. It was invasive, it was painful, and the recovery was long. Many out there believe that this surgery is sinful, harmful, and should be banned. Even though it took its toll physically, I have never regretted it even for a single second. I am so proud of what I went through to be where I am today because it made me stronger, wiser, and more at peace in my body then I ever thought possible.

I had my surgeries just shy of 2-years into my transition. I had both my breast augmentation and vaginoplasty done simultaneously. I also did not go small with my implants, so that was a big shock to my upper body because my breast growth from hormones was very minimal to begin with. That combined with my brand new designer vagina, it was quite the ordeal to do just about anything let alone get out of bed. As some of you may also know, I am a recovering addict. For this reason, managing the pain was an initial concern for me. I allowed myself to take the offered painkillers for the first 48hrs while in the hospital, but as soon as I moved to the recovery home (which I even walked to mind you), I refused to take anything stronger than an extra strength Tylenol. Ice packs were my best friend!

Because I went through all of this, in addition to the small procedures here and there like laser hair removal, it distinctly shaped my experience with transition from those who choose note to move forward with these types of interventions. It isn't just the difference in experiences that make me think we need to start taking back the term transsexual, but also because of what is going on in the world especially on the political stage.

When we are discussing trans rights, we often speak about it terms of rights for the whole transgender community. While every single human being, whether they are trans or not, deserves to have their rights respected and to have the ability to live their lives as their truest selves without fear of discrimination whether intentional or not, we need to start breaking these conversations down into smaller parts.

One of the biggest conversations that has been going on for some time now is the use of women only spaces by trans folks. This conversation has become increasingly hostile over the years, and the opposition often references "men with beards in dresses" as those who are using these spaces and who they need to protect women from. Or even trans women who change openly in a change room, but with their male genitalia still fully intact. So they argue for an outright ban and I don't blame them if this has been their experience with trans people in these spaces. Even if this isn't their experience and is simply a fear, you cannot blame someone for their fears.

I feel this may be happening because these conversations on trans rights are being done with too wide spread a net regarding the trans community and the most vocal often do not fit within the binary. In a perfect world we would be able to use whatever bathroom we wanted that aligned with how we identified, that is not the world we live in today. Yes we should strive for that world, but in order to do so we need to take it step by step to get there and we need advocates who identify with different experiences to speak on behalf of their own distinct parts of the trans community. This makes things more palatable for the opposition to slowly become accustomed to. While some of you may argue that we shouldn't have to make ourselves palatable and I completely agree we shouldn't, I ask wouldn't a more effective strategy get us to where we ultimately want to be faster? Because the strategy we are employing presently feels like a losing battle. The hate that is festering and spreading throughout the United States is even making its way into Canada.

As a transsexual person, and I know I say this from a significant place of privilege, I think that my rights need to be discussed separately from those who are are more broadly transgender or even non-binary. I have made a significant amount of changes to my body and appearance, can easily meld into society within the binary, and would not be misinterpreted as a threat. If asked whether or not I am trans I should be able to say yes, but that answer alone should not limit my access to female only spaces and that is because of how I am able to present. For non-binary people or trans folks who do not appear to be within the binary, a third gendered washroom (gender neutral) should be established throughout our society. This is similar to what is being lobbied for now, but the difference is it provides greater "protection" for women only spaces as it no longer conscribes to the rule that you can pick whatever washroom you identify with but instead adopts the rule that you pick the washroom that you present as. I know this idea has its own downfalls, but we cannot strive for perfection right off the hop.

We also need to take a step back from the whole trans women participating in women's sports, and just focus on our rights to simply exist in society before we start approaching our rights to participate in professional sports. Or even start by just advocating for an exception for young people who never went through male puberty due to taking blockers and instead only went through female puberty due to hormone replacement therapies. Now this brings up the whole rights to access to gender affirming care, and I agree this should be accessible to all ages but at varying degrees. While it may come across as gatekeeping, I do think we need greater eligibility criteria and mental health assessments applied to medical interventions. For instance, puberty blockers should be accessible regardless of age, however, hormones should need to wait until a certain age as should any surgery. There should also be significant mental health assessments/counselling completed ahead of time to ensure the individual is prepared for all possible outcomes, side effects, and is firm with their decision.

By coming at it from a place of "We hear your concerns, we want to work together, so here is what we are proposing as a compromise...", I think we may be able to achieve greater understanding and acceptance. With these strategies, we would be able to start winning over more of the opposition. We could then easily educate people on the trans community, the diversity and beauty within in it, and reach our ultimate goal of where we want to be with less resistance. After some time passes, and we strengthen our support, we can start advocating for more.

I know my viewpoint is not going to be favoured by many, and that is okay. We do not all have to agree. My personal opinions are also not going to do much to change the greater conversation of things, so they will do no harm. These are just my own opinions, the reasons why I identify with the term transsexual and why I want to start using it more widely. We have to stop shying away from labels, and instead embrace them for they speak to our diversity and distinct experiences. That is something that should be celebrated. So from here on out, I will proudly call myself transsexual, and you can use that term to describe me as well. But one last word to the wise, do not use that term on someone else unless they specifically endorse it.